stolen moments...bittersweet and endearing.

the magic has lifted, revealing the ugly, dark reality beneath.

I’m clinging on to the last invisible thread of hope.
Hanging on for life, not wanting to fall down into the depths of nowhere.
In limbo.
Trying. Trying to hold on, pull myself together.
I know that the moment the thread slips out of my hands, I'm a changed person.
Trying to hold on to the person I was.
But I have already lost her...
to a love long lost...

excerpt from Linkin Park's "In the End." So totally what i feel, broken, failed, lost.
………………
What it meant to me
Will eventually
Be a memory
Of a time when

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There’s only one thing you should know

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
And lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

FATE...

I'm in the train going home sitting at the window watching life pass by me. Trees, stations, tracks, people, all dart by in a blur.

CUT

I stand at the window. A cold breeze has picked up; the curtains are billowing under the effect. Far away I can hear a few lone crows cawing, probably in their sleep. It's one o' clock in the morning and Pragya's sound asleep. I absorb the darkness, the quiet. My mind in a turmoil, its been a while since it rested in peace. Feelings well up inside me, but I quell them for the fear of an outburst. I introspect, I ponder, I think, I wonder, but I dont get any answers. But then, I gave up asking questions long ago. For how long can I maintain this facade? For how long will flashes of memories blind me, songs remind me, smells give me the warmth I'm craving?

CUT

broken...

I squeeze my eyes shut to stop the images. A lone tear escapes from under my lashes, tracing a warm path down my cold cheeks. I open my eyes and I’m blinded by tears, threatening to turn into a deluge. How do I wipe five years from my life, dust away the intricate cob webs that I had woven then? How do I cover up the footprints left behind? I watch my pyramid of dreams crashing down, the furthest one placed most precariously on the top; my hopes spiral away, away from my reach, leaving me all alone. As I try to touch them for the last time, the flood gates open, destroying every inch of will power in their wake. Will I ever dream again, give my self again?