I’m struggling with my feelings,
I don’t know what it is… a desperate melancholy, emptiness, maybe hope??
There’s the rock and the hard place, and then there’s me, stuck in between
And no matter how much I try, I’m probably going to die of claustrophobia…
So many feelings, so many thoughts, so many memories surround me,
The ink on the paper spreads, creating a pattern of swirling emotions,
I wanna laugh, I wanna cry, I wanna feel like never before,
I wanna dance, swirl in his arms, where there is just me and him…
There is so much I want, yet so much that comes with it that I don’t…
What is higher? My identity, my pride, the perceptions I have created through these years?? Or is all that matters just me and him??
But then, just me and him, is not all that matters to him…is it??
Is this even about us?? Is this just a fantasy of being in love, sharing intimate moments?
Or is it true love?? The thing that people live their entire lives to search for…
That movies and novels describe,
But these past 4 years have taught me so much more…
i can love, i have found love, and i believe in it... but is it enough??
Where does it all end? Where do I come to a standstill and choose?
A choice that will affect us all, whether it’s for the good or the bad…
But the emotions remain, my feelings still swirling in the pit of my stomach,
And I can’t think, I can only feel…
Maybe ill wish on a shooting star or ill kneel down and bend my head in penance at the altar
Or ill talk to God one on one
Till then, I can only feel…
2 comments:
deep feelings...tough situations...impossible choices. if only life was simple enough to iron out its creases and keep us happy at all times. i believe that every thing in our lives happens for a reason. there is a plan for each one of us, except that we don't know it yet. we cannot be given everything we desire, because then we would not know its true value. i know the situation you are in is not something everyone else would understand. but i know there's a solution somewhere...and at the right time, it will come to you. i hope that "time" will be soon. :)
very ture....i cud feel it too..how difficult it is to be in such a situation....one jus has to wait for the answer.....
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