Four friends, one coffee shop. Its been a long time since we met up and shared our views and thoughts, relationships, the future, a career. What do we do? Where do we go? Its been a long time and none of us has really considered the future. Oh i knw that i want to be a clinical psychologist and my other friends have their goals, but how to go about it? We've just finished our final university exam and need to pursue a masters degree, but i want to support myself from this point onwards. I dont want mom to keep supporting me financially, so now m in search of a job.
Its funny how, at one moment, ur a kid and then overnight ur forced, literally jerked out of ur complacent state and made to be mature because alls not well in the world...well definitely in your world. When dad died, i was giving my final exams, not really innocent, but very unaware of the kind of responsibilities i would have to take. And now i see myself, mature (atleast i think so), responsible , wanting to stand on my own feet, support my self and education, trying to achieve a goal i have set myself. Yet at times, somehwere i wonder where the old 'me' went. But i kinda like this new me. Hehehe i sound so confused na, even to myself. But somewhere i m not, suddenly im seeing life in a new perspective. i have a stronger sense of who i am and what i want in life. i can be more assertive and pursue my goals. So i dont think ive turned out that bad.
A few of my childhood memories come back to me.
My mom used to talk to me. i remember those times, when i used to sit on the spotless kitchen floor and listen to her talk. About life, things.. experiences ....the kind of people there are in the world. And in that secluded, protective environment i dint deem such things as highly important. but then i came down to india and started experiencing similar things, meeting similar people and somewhere the behaviours, mental sets that i saw seemed no more new because mom had already exposed them to me and then i found myself doing the same thing......talkin to people about these things, telling them about my experiences after a point of time ....and this time not only because i deemed it important but also because i had started believing in them myself.