It’s been a long time, and since I treat my blog as my agony aunt, I decided to pour out my woes hmmm, m tired, overwhelmingly... mentally, physically, tired of struggling every single day… but when life throws curves at you, it does so when u are totally not prepared, and unarmed and helpless, your defenses are down… I’m scared; shit scared of becoming more cynical than I already am, more bitter, and jus extremely sober and serious. It’s been a long journey this past year. Have learnt a lot, started thinking more practically, but there are times when I feel like being pampered, being held and told that m loved and someone always looking out for me…I don wanna give any more, I want to take… it sounds selfish but I’ve jus given and given and given and now I have nothing more to give… some times i think tht one of the reasons i love reading so much , is that i get absorbed in someone else's life, i dont have to be there on the scene, i dont have to think of wht to do next, the decisions are made by someone else who i dont have any associations with... well m in a self pitying mood, so pardon :)
3 comments:
oohhh sweety!!! dont get so low...u know wat when life throws curves at u when ur totally unarmed is bcoz u get so involved in it tat u 4get ur other worries n concentrate on this 1..so he chooses d perfect time to u put in a completely different n difficult situation...so this is actually life yaar...i hope u understand wat m sayin...neways i feel like m ur dad..heheh explainin u things like i wud do to my bachu...heheok i dunno wat m i saying..just wanna tell u tat keep cmilin always coz then is when u'll find all ur ways...alrite..n remember some1 up there definitely LOVES U...n trust me when i say tat..alrite..
Hiiii Shanti...Just discovered your blog...and just had to say hiiiii....miss you like hell esp all tht crazy night talking and you n pri singing to me in the night!! who would have guessed I was the elder one!!!
Love you tons and dont be cynical you have old age for all that!Muah....
P.S. if it ll make you feel better I can tell you all the screwed things that keep bounding towards me!! It seems like true love sometimes (me and shit things tht is!) :)
u r not bein selfish..everyone think abt themselves...thinkin abt urself is nt a crime afterall sweetie...sometimes u require ur own space too...dun be scared of future...u nvr knw wat future is goin to come up wid...evn if u r afraid of becomin bitter in one form, m SURE u ll become better in another form...n no one is pamper u...tht age is gone away n it ll nt cm back....u r tired of givin n it can be completely understood...but frm our side...we ll keep loving,caring,supporting you...its like u r sittin on a jhula n takin high swings n we standin der to push u lil frm behind so tht u go high up in d air...to feel th air on ur face,tickling ur hair...jus relax dun give anythin back...no one s askin for anything in return...its jus a phase n u ll be back again wid all love in ur heart...til then be loved by all wid no thots n fears of future....
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