Tuesday, May 6, 2008

i dunno what to write....there is this emptiness inside, this never ending ache, a feeling tht refuses to go, like so much is happening yet something is missing from my life...
i was sitting at marine drive today and just looking at a ship far away on the horizon, so different from everything around it, it seemed ablaze with fire, but i was quite sure that those were just the lights, for a moment, i wanted to be that ship on the horizon, to be ablaze with a fire from inside, not be attached, be free, be alone, with my thoughts, and just be MYSELF... i had a lovely dinner tonight, but again something was missing, when will my incomplete puzzle get its perfect piece, the only piece that can fit in? i guess never, since the piece has been lost...a piece that could make my puzzle oh- so- perfect and one...but my piece had to join another puzzle and i couldnt break up my entire puzzle and join another one, so we are separate and what that piece could bring to my puzzle by joining it, no other has ever come close to giving that much, because it was a perfect fit...
i knw this is incomprehendable, yet it makes perfect sense to me... people say life moves on, but sometimes you may just not want it to move on, but want it to move back and probably change things, circumstances, mind sets, but not those moments, not those times tht are close to your heart, not those that are special, no matter how much they hurt you, because probably those thoughts, moments, memores are what u are today, one by one, each thought has been enmeshed and entangled together such that it has made a different being out of you...

4 comments:

Shweta G said...

hey sweetheart,
i dunno how to say wat i want to....wanna say so much but nt getting words....wanna be with you. i hope i cud change something,i definitely wud have darling...but its like rains...you dunno wen it ll stop..you jus have to wait...
after rains its green everywhere.. its so fresh...let the rains go n m sure you ll feel so again.
you are right we cant join the puzzle without one perfect piece... but we can take help of some similar puzzle and try to find one piece which ll fit in your puzzle...
or can we make a new puzzle altogether....i know it'll take time jaanu...but we need not rush na...afterall we want the puzzle to be perfect...
collect all the memories and keep the puzzle jus as it is...walk down the street with all the sweet memories...but with the hope that one day you ll definitely get one PERFECT piece which ll make your puzzle more than perfect....i swear i believe so....love you sweetie....just keep going...you ll definitely find a way....

P.E.A.C.E said...

u knw somehow i feel that no other piece can make a puzzle perfect apart from the one tht can. probably ill have make a new puzzle altogether and start from scratch. and that will tk time. oh i knw wht ur talkin about whn u say thts its like the rain. once it pours and thn things are fine... the whole city looks like it went thru the washing machine :)
i feel time will numb these feelings, new feelings may replace the old ones, but there is no ctrl alt del here ... never can be.

Shweta G said...

hhhhhmmmmm....so u agree that ur life is nt comp....
n i say IT CAN NOT BE,rather it should not be....
otherwise it ll hang like comp...n we dun want that to hpn na.....u r right...time ll be the cure...n we ll wait together.... :)

Unknown said...

u know what shanti i really like n agree with wht shweta said..its like the rains,well shweta tht was beautifully put.
and if i may add..if it didnt rain.everything would be parched right,who wants a life like that.
we have to learn n grow.
and sweety ofcourse u have not found that perfect puzzle piece yet. cos when u do everything will be perfect there wouldnt be any alternative,no two-ways, everything will just fall in place.and it definately will !!!